"Life would be easier if we didn't have the kind of population growth rates that we have at the moment. But to force people to stop having children would be a simplistic answer."
Achim Steiner, the executive director of the UN Environment Program
As y'all know, I'm a big fan of simplistic answers. Population control sounds good to me. I'll go as far as to suggest selective neutering. I'll even volunteer to be the Grand Poobah of Population Control and annoint myself the Grand Decider of who can and can't reproduce. If you want to reproduce, please apply to me for permission. You must submit proof of your SAT scores, affinity for sports, hair color and preference for dogs or cats. I will then use my own arbitrary preferences and a coin flip to assign reproductive rights. I'm also open to bribery as it shows initiative and belief in Coasian solutions. I'm pretty sure this would make the world a happier place...at least for me.
And yes, I'm joking.
