I haven't tried sarcastic commentary on a news article for a while--so here goes. From The Independent:
In an extraordinary outburst aimed at America's failure to tackle global warming, Al Gore says that if scientific agreement on the climate crisis had been reached sooner it would have been easier to "galvanise the public and persuade Congress to act".
The failed presidential candidate claims that the stronger scientific consensus he knew was about to emerge meant "we in the US were about to shift into high gear in addressing the climate crisis". Mr Gore argues that if he had made it to the White House, he would have been able to use the office as a "bully pulpit" to achieve change.
I'm not sure which is worse--the agenda driven Gore, or the agenda driven writer.
"The nature and severity of the climate crisis had seemed painfully obvious to me for quite a long time," claims Mr Gore, writing in a new foreword to a revised edition of his book, Earth in the Balance, being published this week.
Money grubbing authors are the dregs of society. The only reason to write a 'revision' to an existing book is to take advantage of the narrow-minded consumer who thinks something 'new' is included.
Oh, on an unrelated note, watch in the notsonear future for the second edition of the best seller Valuing Environmental and Natural Resources: The Econometrics of Non-Market Valuation. With new foreword by the authors.
In a swipe at the scientific community, he says: "I wish that we could have had in the 1990s the deafening scientific consensus that has emerged in more recent years."
I wish we could have scientific consensus on the need for efficient policy--as I choose to define it.
Mr Gore accuses his nemesis, President George Bush, of having taken "virtually no steps to address the problem. Worse, he and Vice President Cheney have led the nation in precisely the wrong direction."
Nemesis? Are we living in a comic book. Why not arch-enemy? Foil? Drat!
He goes on to detail how the Bush administration reversed a pledge to regulate carbon dioxide as a pollutant, pulled out of negotiations on the Kyoto treaty and replaced key scientific advisers with ones suggested by oil giant ExxonMobil.
Everyone hold your breath--you're polluting.
The point of no return will be reached within 10 years, the former vice president says, and we cannot wait any longer to solve the crisis. He blames a focus on instant gratification for the "exclusion of long-term consequences in our decisions and policies" and writes about his "mission of solving the climate crisis". His Oscar-winning documentary on climate change, An Inconvenient Truth, became the surprise box-office hit of 2006.
Point of no return to what? Call me cynical but I'm not completely convinced that today is the best day to use as a reference for utopia. I'm not sure the future will be better, but I'm also not sure it will be worse. Oh, and I'm a big fan of instant self-gratification.
Mr Gore claims that concerns over the environment formed his "principal agenda for eight years in the White House". But he is light on details of what he did while in office, beyond a brief mention of his work with the Kyoto treaty (which was never ratified by Congress).
Well, who can blame him...he was busy inventing Internet tubes so we can use The Google. See how I tied in jokes about three politicians at once there?
During his tenure as vice president, America's carbon dioxide emissions shot up far faster than at any time in modern history - by 15 per cent, compared to just 1.65 per cent during President Bush's first term.
Oh snap! Yeah, I'm a dork.
Although Mr Gore is currently promoting the Live Earth concerts that will take place next month, speculation is increasing that he may exploit the surge in his popularity and run for president in 2008 - 20 years after first standing for the office.
Personally, I only have time for one cause driven concert a year and I'm having trouble deciding: Live Earth or The Concert for Diana. The line-up for Live Earth looks stronger, but frankly tree-hugging bands bug the crap out of me. I remember about 15 years ago going to a Steve Miller Band concert--Jungle love, it's drivin' me mad, it's making me craaaazzzzyyyy--and getting pissed off halfway through because he stopped between each song and proselytized about his pet environmental causes for 20 minutes. Major buzzkill. Just play the damned music.
Besides, William and Harry have Joss Stone on board and she's hot. Oops, wait, Gore has KT Tunstall--crap I might have to give in and watch both.
He is one of a growing number of political figures who have embraced the green cause.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Hollywood star turned "green Governor" of California, will be in Europe this week for meetings with Tony Blair and the French President, Nicolas Sarkozy, to find ways of reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
The Terminator, Bambi and a drunk Frenchman walk into a bar...
