I haven't done this for a while, so I think it's about time for me to inappropriately interpret a news story--my comments are in italics.
From the Cox News Service via the Columbus Dispatch:
The bad news: Gasoline prices will be high all summer.
The good news: Supplies will be adequate.
High prices+adequate supplies=demand driven high gas prices. In other words, high gas prices are your fault.
The scary news: A strong hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico could knock out refineries and quickly send pump prices soaring. "We are one major incident away from a 1970s-style gasoline crisis," Paul Sankey, an oil analyst, warned the Senate Energy Committee yesterday.
But, there's only a 49% chance of that happening so we're OK, right?
Because of insufficient refining capacity, the United States has enough gasoline inventory to last only 20 days, he said. That leaves the U.S. industry vulnerable to storms, accidents, equipment failures and foreign supply disruptions.
I thought supplies were adequate? I hate feeling vulnerable.
"Be prepared to take emergency measures" such as tossing out environmental rules and drawing down strategic reserves, Sankey urged Congress.
Gas prices are too high so we should get rid of all environmental rules. That seems logical--yes that's sarcasm.
His warning came as Congress considers how it might restrain gasoline prices and ensure adequate supplies throughout the summer driving season, which begins Memorial Day.
Restrain gas prices?!--OK Tim, don't panic--put down the gun. Breathe deep. Deep breaths...OK, the room stopped spinning...whew...that's better.
Didn't the article say earlier that supplies will be adequate. And we've already determined that means high gas prices are your fault for driving. So the only logical conclusion is to toss out all the environmental rules.
Lawmakers asked experts for assessments of prices and supplies but did not hear many encouraging words about how they could help in the short term.
[A bunch of stuff skipped because I couldn't think of anything funny, offensive or sarcastic to say...]
In the House, scores of co-sponsors are pushing for passage of the Federal Price Gouging Prevention Act, which would make it illegal for oil companies to charge "unconscionably excessive" prices.
Oh no...OH no...OH No...OH NO...AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
From Wikipedia: Price gouging is a frequently pejorative reference to a seller's asking a price that is much higher than what is seen as 'fair' under the circumstances. ...In colloquial usage, it means simply that the speaker thinks the price is too high.
In other words, price gouging is claimed when whiners feel like blaming someone else for their inability to control their own actions. I've never understood claims of price gouging. You always have the choice not to pay the higher price. It might now seem 'fair,' but life's not fair sometimes. Price gouging legislation is nothing more than price control legislation and we all know how nicely that usually works out. If the claim is monopoly pricing, then use the existing monopoly laws--don't make up new ones.
Oh, and high gas prices are a good thing. It means people will DRIVE LESS!
Separately yesterday, reporters asked White House spokesman Tony Snow whether the administration is considering tapping into the nation's Strategic Petroleum Reserve. "Not that I'm aware of," he said.
Later, asked about President Bush's plans to address rising energy prices, Snow suggested the Democratic-led Congress initiate action.
"The president's talked about nuclear power," Snow said, but "a lot of people say, 'We don't want nukes. We don't want new refineries. We don't want ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge drilling). We want more energy.'
"OK, well, we're all ears," he said.
