Now we know why Senator Mason is so eager to drill for oil in Lost Forest: his daughter’s boyfriend desperately needs petroleum byproducts to maintain his magnificent pompadour. Our nation’s current strategic reserves simply aren’t adequate for the task.
A report released Wednesday by economists at the University of Pennsylvania confirmed that the already massive gap between the world’s ultra-rich and reality is now at historic levels and only continues growing wider each year. “While there has always existed a large, some say unbridgeable divide between those making over $30 million a year and the basic realities of everyday life that exist, have existed, and will continue to exist for the vast majority of lifeforms in the known universe, that divide appears to have grown even more vast within the past few years,” said lead researcher Brian Dalton, explaining that the gulf separating multimillionaires from common, typically pervasive actualities such as financial hardship, spending limitations, hunger, want, doubt, discomfort of any kind, and consequences for their actions is now the largest since 1985. “Despite efforts from international organizations in every country across the world, wealthy businessmen continue drifting further and further apart from any semblance of reality, and within the next decade we will likely find that this gap has become truly insurmountable.” Researchers also stated, however, that the gap between the ultra-rich and utter delusion remains nearly nonexistent.
GRANVILLE, OH—In what many described as “pretty incredible,” students at Denison University expressed disbelief Friday after realizing they were actually sitting in the same English 225 class as none other than the school’s starting quarterback, Luke Pavlatos. “Holy shit, Pav is here,” said sophomore Jared Stasio, who admitted it was difficult to fathom that he was sitting just two seats away from the very quarterback who commands Big Red at Piper Field. “Oh my God, number 8. He’s taking a class just like us. I can’t believe that they even make him go to class. I mean you hear his name all the time and I guess you forget he’s still a regular student like everybody else. I just hope I don't say anything stupid in front of him.” At press time, the students confirmed that despite being the “King of Denison,” Pavlatos was “so down to earth.”
Add this to your fisheries economics jokes (The Onion):
Numerous internet users reported feeling extremely misled Monday by a news website’s headline, “Lobsterman Safe After Being Pulled From Ocean,” noting that the associated article contained neither images nor a detailed description of the promised aquatic Lobsterman creature. “I don’t understand—the guy in the picture just looks like a regular person,” a visibly disappointed Josh Huber, 29, told reporters after clicking on a link to the article with the expectation that he would be shown photographs of a large half-human, half-crustacean hybrid that had been captured. “I thought he’d have some big claws and a tail, maybe antennae or something. I guess I knew he probably wouldn’t have an exoskeleton or anything like that, but I figured he would at least be red, and I definitely thought he would be at least a 6-foot-tall lobster with a human head that speaks like a person. What gives?” As of press time, Huber was mulling over the possibility that the man in the photo might be the one who caught the Lobsterman.
My guess was that Josh was thinking about something like the Just Dance 4 guy:
Reviewer [name redacted] has declined the invitation to review this manuscript. The reviewer has provided the following comments:
Due to the fact of raising costs for your journals especially for institutions like universities, while simultaneously rooting your business in using authors and reviewers from the sciences not being charged, I decided to do no more free of charge reviewing for Elsevier journals.
I can offer you reviewing articles for 80 Euro/ hour.
Please note that the biggest sort of freebie for the academic publishing industry is content. I have no idea about this particular researcher, but my guess is that those who put forward this sort of highly principled response to a review request aren't so rigid when it comes to submitting papers to for-profit journals (or if the review request is from JEEM or REE). The difference is, reviewing papers is a public good with only a single line on your vita that no one cares about. Submitting papers generates many more private benefits.
In this particular case, the tax revenue would be used to maintain roads, so taxing hybrid owners to make up for them not paying the gas tax is in line with the benefits principle of taxation, but it fails a basic reasonableness criterion of “tax things you want less of and subsidize things you want more of.” ... I was hoping that this would be an isolated “oops” sort of incident, but apparently North Carolina is looking to follow Virginia’s lead:
Dear North Carolina: You’re doing it wrong. Economically speaking, both Virginia and North Carolina are saying that they want at least some of their residents to switch back from purchasing hybrid cars to purchasing regular gas guzzlers. The most frustrating part is that this makes perfect sense from a self-interest perspective- the state legislature certainly feels a lot more pain from having an increasing budget shortfall than it does from producing some more pollution that everyone else who doesn’t write stupid policy has to deal with. In essence, the externality problem exists not only at the level of individual production and consumption but also at the state regulatory level.
Go to about 2:17 of the video to get to Colbert's "tip of the hat" to the NC state legislature.
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... the Environmental Economics blog ... is now the default homepage on my browser (but then again, I guess I am a wonk -- a word I learned on the E.E. blog). That is a very nice service to the profession. -- Anonymous
"... I try and read the blog everyday and have pointed it out to other faculty who have their students read it for class. It is truly one of the best things in the blogosphere." -- Anonymous